There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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