Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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