I'm drive I can fine osifer
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize