i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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