dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
