If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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