i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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