he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
