just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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