I need help removing her.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
