Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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