i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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