you guys were way drunker than both of me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
