wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
