Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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