Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
this is an emotional support booty call
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
