We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
