Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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