Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
