it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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