I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The convent might be a nice break from real life
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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