There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
