Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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