I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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