I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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