dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
