thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
