she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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