ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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