I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
