no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
