he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
