Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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