all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
