uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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