Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
