is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
