remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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