Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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