I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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