Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
