so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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