is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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