whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
