he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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