Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
