can we get nightvision for the apartment?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
