and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize