I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
