you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
